just found this diagram of The Penis that @stopkatie made me when I became newly single hahaha
How does my dad’s ex-wife’s brother’s ex-wife know about my MySQL skills?
~*dove commercial outtake*~
Left: how I describe myself. Right: how my students describe me.
“28 Things Only Teenage White Girls Will Understand”
Baby Tears.
People accidentally @reply me all the time on Instagram because of my simple username. Today I was entered into this hilarious insta-sexin and I’m DYING.
OMG, DRAMATIC MUCH?
This shit is for 12 year olds, right? Because when I was 22, we would have kicked these giggling doe-eyed twits out of the hotel suite to blow lines off the cocks of real musicians.
Who the fuck tries to write a wholesome party girl anthem? I mean, seriously. This isn’t a music video. It’s the director’s cut of a tampon commercial.
“It’s the director’s cut of a tampon commercial.”
This Hadrosaurus (NJ’s state dinosaur) egg replica is about as anatomically correct as birth control is effective at preventing pregnancy.
…Today I made a bookmarklet for it: https://gist.github.com/3100893
…
let’s all remember what a nutjob I am
SHOOTING RAMPAGE IN SOUTHERN CA LEAVES FOUR PEOPLE DEAD. SCOOBY AND HIS FOX NEWS GANG ARE ON IT.
yep
“JAY-Z SAID Y’ALL GO TO THE PARTY TO ICE GRILL.
BEYONCE SHOWS US AN OWL THAT GOT STUCK IN THE GRILL.”
for dorsey bb
We all should stop freaking out about the snow and, instead, discuss how my cat sits like this sometimes.
get your kids some balls this president’s day